


Merry and Bright

by ahappyphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Christmas, M/M, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21681790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahappyphil/pseuds/ahappyphil
Summary: Dan and Phil host their first ChristmasWritten for the @phanworkschallenge
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 44
Kudos: 176





	Merry and Bright

**“Home for Christmas Day”- Nsync**

Post coming out life had its perks. Sure it was scary, not in a _oh god what have we done rewind abort abort_ way, just in that this was still uncharted territory for them both. As much as Phil would like to pretend he lives up to his own slogan, trying new things and a chronically anxious mind don’t always blend well. 

Something that helped them both, but especially Phil during one of his spirals about if they’d made the right decision, was to list all the things they could do now. All the doors that have been opened now that they’re living their truth. Dan would run his fingers through his hair and remind him of all the good things, all the possibilities, that came from their decision. 

“We can have a date night and not have to worry about requesting one check, and you can buy me flowers without lying about who they’re for. We can walk down the street and hold hands. Not that we have to, but we can. Feels good to have the choice, you know?’

Phil hums in agreement, struggling not to fall asleep at the gentle scratch of Dan’s hands on his scalp. “Sounds like you just want me to take you out on a date.” 

“Oi, don’t pretend like I’m the only romantic here, Lester. Maybe I just want you to woo me.” 

“Thought I did that already. You seem pretty wooed.” That earns him a smack on the arm, but Dan still goes back to rubbing his head.

“I don’t have to lie to my family about who I am. I don’t have to call you my flatmate anymore or be weird about Christmas. I mean, maybe we could…”

He’s stopped his fingers and bites his lip, a telltale sign Dan is deep in thought and wants to say something. 

“We could what?” Phil sits up from Dan’s lap.

“How would you feel about Christmas here this year?” He seems nervous. Like maybe this isn't the first time he’s considered this.

“What like, with both our families?”

“Yeah. Kind of blending both sides. I mean we both hate spending the day apart, and it’s weird that they don’t really know each other that well. Hell, mum doesn’t even really know you; which she reminded me of about a hundred times in France. Your parents can stay with us and my family can come up for the day, or whatever we can pile everyone in and have them all stay overnight. We’ve got the space now, and nana wanted to see the new place anyway. And it means I won’t have to go back to Wokingham this year, which would be a gift in and of itself and-“

Phil grabs his hands from where they are flailing and snatching at his mop of curls and takes a deep breath, signaling Dan to do the same. “Calm down. Breathe, babe. You’ve really thought this through, huh?”

There’s a blush creeping up on his cheek. “Yeah, a bit. I may have made a sleeping chart and a menu in case you said yes.” He finally takes that deep breath. “We’ve worked so hard to get to this place and I want to finally spend Christmas with you.”

He’s not quite sure how it’ll all work, if his mum will even allow such a stray from tradition, if the Howell’s will even like him, but he’d do anything for Dan. “Okay, let’s do it.” 

*  
**“You and Christmas” - Tessa Violet**

There are few things in life Kathryn Lester lives for quite like hosting for the holidays. It’s what she waits all year for, it’s her time to shine. She loves her boys, loves her family, loves showing that adoration by spending hours upon hours in the kitchen whipping up everyone’s individual favorite recipes. 

But she loves her son more. She knows how important and life changing this year has been for he and Dan. She’s spent ten Christmases watching her youngest sulk the minute Dan is on the way home down south. She’s witnessed too many frowns when everyone has a partner on Christmas morning but Phil. 

So she’ll do this. She can give up one day of control for their happiness.

She’s curious about Dan’s family as well. It had always bothered her just a bit that she didn’t really know them, understandable as it might have been. 

There was always a twinge of feeling impolite on the very rare occasion she and Dan’s family were in the same place. It stung to pass it off so casually. It hurt to not be able to rave to Mrs. Howell about how much she absolutely adored her son, how she was so thankful for his presence, how he was everything she’d dreamt of in a partner for Phil. 

She hopes they’re not too cross with her for keeping the secret. As a mother, she doesn’t know how she’d feel if it was her that had been kept out of the loop for so long. 

It will be interesting to see how the boys handle the responsibility of hosting. Daniel insisted they didn’t need help, that he had everything under control. As much as she and Nigel adore him, he’s always has issues delegating. Phil too.

It warms her heart to see how excited they both are. The last time she had FaceTimed Phil, he couldn’t stop talking about their new glassware sets and all the little decorations they’d put up. Something about Dan and “aesthetics”.

Times like these she is reminded that her baby boy, the same little red headed toddler that followed her everywhere she went and who’s incessant curiosity almost drove her mad, is a man now. He’s a whole person with his own life and his own partner, who share their own home. And who now want to make their own traditions. 

There is no greater joy than watching your children thrive, and Kathryn gets to see it four times over. 

*  
**“All I Want For Christmas Is You” - Mariah Carey**

“Fuck, Phil. What have we done?!? We can’t do this! We can’t host a bloody get together.”

Dan knows he’s dusted this bookshelf at least five times by now. Luckily, Phil knows him well enough not to give him shit for it. 

“We _can_ do this. It’s just two days.” Phil comes up behind him and wraps his arms around his middle. “If we can plan a world tour, we can handle ten people in our house.”

Phil has been a rock in this whole ordeal. Which is surprising to say the least considering he’s usually the one to spend hours detailing the worst case scenarios.

He seems happy, giddy even. He keeps saying how it'll be nice to have everyone under one roof. And their very first Christmas morning. That’s a big one. 

He just wants this to go perfectly. Just this one thing and he’ll never want anything ever again. 

He wants his family to see him in his element. Home field advantage and all that. He wants them to see how he’s built quite the successful life. That he can manage a home. That he and Phil are strong, stronger than he’s ever allowed himself to let on. 

He’s excited for his mum and nana to properly meet Kath. She’ll charm them like she does with literally everyone she meets. Nigel can talk to popsie about all the traditional manly things they could never get him to understand or care about. Adrian will try to impress Martyn with his stories about living off the grid. 

The spare beds are set up, the house looks like a freakin’ John Lewis advert, and the tree (that despite a strongly worded email from Phil was once again delivered by a kiltless man) is stunning.

It’s the Christmas that he always dreamed of having as a kid, the kind the Lester’s have been giving him a taste of for years. Except this time he gets to have it with all of his people. 

One person in particular. 

He can do this. They can do this. 

*  
**“I’ll Be Home for Christmas” - Amy Grant**

She doesn’t think she’ll ever truly be able to wrap her head around the reality of her son’s life.

Dan is famous, despite his absolute hatred for the word. He’s famous and very very rich.

Karen is reminded of that fact as the lift takes her up to the top floor of an apartment building she would scoff at and call hoity toity if she passed it on the street. Adrian probably will make that remark once he gets here later. 

Dan said not to bring anything, but of course mum wouldn’t stand for that. Only she would insist on bringing enough food to feed an entire village on a busy train.

It’s a bittersweet reminder of how much more maternal she is and always has been. Of Dan constantly asking for his nana when he got a scrape instead of accepting the love she attempted to give him. 

They’ve moved past that now. He’s an adult and they’re working on untangling their hurt, both separate and combined, from the past. This is part of it she guesses. New traditions in new settings. Compromise. 

They opened the door together, greeting in almost perfect synchronicity. Working together to help grab suitcases and coats like it was a practiced motion. It’s almost fascinating. There’s still a nervous energy from all parties, still she’s never seen her son so in tune. 

Dan had mentioned that they were close. Long chats on the French countryside where, after a couple bottles of wine, he finally opened up about what is oh so apparent to be the most important person in his life.

He’d said they were best friends first, that they had an almost psychic connection. Watching them as they move about the house while consistently finding themselves in the other’s space like magnets, she can see it. They’re a good team. Most importantly, Dan is happy. 

He’s happy when he pulls them over to the kitchen for horderves and a drink. He’s happy when Phil accidentally spills a bit of champagne on the countertop. He’s happy as he ushers them into the living room where four vaguely familiar figures are laughing looking at the photos on the mantle above the fireplace. 

There’s a spike of fear and a surge of something far less kind that she had hoped wouldn’t rear its ugly head today. Here she is coming face to face with the people who know her son, and who have known him for a decade, in a way she’s just being introduced to. 

She wants to be defensive. To say that it’s more complex than they’re imagining. That she’s not the cold distant mother they most likely have painted her to be in their minds, uncaring as her eldest son suffered in silence for years. 

Deep breath. In and out. 

Daniel wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t say that. She is not going to ruin this day because she’s got her own shit to deal with. They’re not going to judge. Just because they look like the bloody picture perfect family in their matching Christmas jumpers does not mean they want to burn her at the stake for subpar parenting. Dan says they’re wonderful people and that they’re excited to meet everyone. If anything, mum will makeup for her own lack of social grace. 

*  
**“White Christmas” - Michael Buble**

The Lester’s are warm. That’s the first impression she gets within the first hour of casual conversation. Karen had made them seem far more daunting, more elusive, but there’s something about them that radiates comfort. She can see why Daniel loves them.

Kathryn is lovely. She and Karen swap stories about the trials and triumphs of raising two boys, and she notices the way her daughter’s shoulders start to relax.

She’s always beaten herself up about what she deems as her failures as a mother, but she did well. She proved herself to be a remarkable mum. Half of that proof is busy checking the turkey in the oven. The other is off running around London despite the frigid temperatures. 

Even her husband seems taken aback by their charm. Nigel had drug Martin off to go admire the craftsmanship of the old building, cutting up like schoolboys on the way out.

He made a joke about his Martyn never quite appreciating those things. He fakes a pout and an eye roll which causes the redhead girl next to him to tut, but she ends up laughing with her head on his shoulder. She seems just as sweet on him and Dan is on his brother. Come to think of it, she’d seen that look mirrored in Mrs. Lester’s face as well. Perhaps there’s a bit of magic in those Lester men. 

Whatever it is, her grandson has a full blown case. She’s never seen Dan quite like this. 

There were always suspicions, mummers about his closeness with his flatmate. She may be old, but she’s not blind. No one could miss the changes in him all those years ago. How he’d come home from yet another trip up north a little bit lighter. But this...this is something else entirely.

Phil is like a spotlight that brings out all the beautiful pieces of Dan and reminds everyone just how much he shines. There’s something childlike about the way they bounce off of each other, but it’s deeper.

Catching the way they look at one another from across the room feels intrusive in a way. They are able to finish each other’s stories and banter with ease. 

But then there’s something more. It’s the way Phil steps in every time Dan tries to undermine his own success, reminding him and everyone else of how creative and talented he is. It’s like he won’t stand for Dan to belittle himself. It’s how he sits next to her on the couch and points out all the details Dan had worked on in their home to her, always emphasizing how he had an eye for things like that. 

It’s the way they both excuse themselves to tend to the food. Always together. Always helping. Like they forget the rest of the world is turning alongside them. 

So it comes as a bit of a shock when Phil politely comes over to ask her opinion on the batter for the cakes. “Dan always raves about yours. I’m useless at baking.” His smile is a little awkward, a little shy, but still quite endearing. 

“Oh dear, I’m sure you’re just fine.” She pats his shoulders and inspects the entirely too watery mixture. Perhaps they could use some assistance. 

Just then she hears a string of expletives coming out of her grandson and sees a pie hit the floor. From the look on his face, one would assume it was for the Queen herself.

He cleans up the mess while mumbling to himself, then announces he’s making another one.

She can hear Phil fainting say “Babe, it’s fine. We don’t need it.”

She’s sure Phil knows Dan well enough to know that that won’t do. Even as a child, he had to have things just so and if something didn’t come out the way he wanted, he’d be back at it again before anyone could stop him.

Oh, the piles of slightly burnt biscuits and coloring pages with crayon marks not quite in the lines that were binned at the hands of her little perfectionist.

“Bear, do you need help?” She knows nothing edible will come from that furrowed brow and tight lipped focus when he answers with a short “I’m fine.” 

Guess that stubbornness never left him. Same grumpy little face that she always struggled not to laugh at when he wanted to prove a point. 

“Nonsense, you’re letting me help and you’re going to be happy about it!” She takes the mixing bowl from his hands and pats his arm. “Just like when you were a little one. Phil, you too dear!”

There’s that smile back. It seems all it takes for his dimples to reappear is to watch Phil attempt to mimic her dough rolling technique.

It’s nice to spend time with him as well. He’s a nice lad, charming as all get out, and just the kind of person to counterbalance the firecracker that is Daniel. 

*  
**“Christmas Waltz” - Peggy Lee**

Talking to Karen, it’s easy to see where Dan gets his spunk from. She’s witty and fun; things that makes her feel just a touch old.

Even Mar is entranced by her stories of adventures and a life well lived. She and Cornelia have found a shared interest in some type of music she can’t pronounce the name of. 

Karen is exciting in a way she’s never really had the opportunity to be. Finding common ground isn’t coming as easy as she’d hoped. 

But then Kath notices how her eyes drift back to the boys every so often. Mother instinct. That’s something she knows well.

She looks over to where Karen’s staring. Dan and Phil are taste testing icing, but have somehow managed to get it all over their noses and cheeks. She’s been around them long enough to know some sort of food fight has occurred. 

She also knows that if they were sure no one was looking, said icing would be kissed off. There are certain things a mum should never walk in on.

“They really are quite cute together, aren’t they?” Karen finally notices her glancing. There’s a slight sadness to her voice, but overall she seems happy. Bittersweet in the knowledge that even if she didn’t get the joy of witnessing it firsthand, Dan found true happiness. 

“They are.” Kath feels so much pride for them both. “You’ve got a good one over there.” 

She has the courtesy to pretend to not see the way Karen subtly dabs her eyes before she puts on a smile and says “I’m glad he had you lot.”

There are a million words that could be said in this moment. Hundreds of conversations that she knows they’re both probably itching to start, full of apologies and explanations and a decade of missed communication. Not only as future in laws, but as mothers who were both scared and protective of their unique wonderful children in an unfortunately cruel world. 

But that’s not what they need right now. Digging up the past isn’t going to benefit the future.

Right now they’re happy. Right now they’re watching their sons, their openly gay and openly together sons, happily cook a meal for their families together.

*  
**“Feliz Navidad”- Jose Feliciano**

He’s never met Adrian before today. Sure, he’s checked out his Instagram and YouTube channel out of sheer curiosity. Dan doesn’t really talk about him all that much, and when he does it’s generally lighthearted mocking at whatever impulsive decision he’s made that month. He’s always been a bit of a mystery, the elusive younger Howell. 

It’s something Martyn had a hard time understanding. He knows not everyone is like his family, but he can’t fathom being that removed from his brother’s life. Dan says they’re working on their relationship. They’re finding common ground now that Adrian is older and there’s a significant amount of angst on both sides that has simmered down. 

He reminds him a bit of himself at that age. Just a touch reckless and always hungry for the next thing that could aid in making sense of this universe. 

There’s also a hint of Dan in him, more than the very obvious physical features. That part is uncanny. 

No, it’s more like how he speaks in a way that could possibly be conceived as cocky if Martyn’s big brother instinct didn’t also pick up on the unsureness. It reminds him of a younger Dan. Still harboring some resentment at the world, still struggling to make sense of his own hurt, and apprehensive about the lack of clarity for the future. 

It’s a startling realization that the two of them share something no one else on this planet does. It wasn’t exactly a hardship being the sibling of a quasi celebrity. He was a full adult by the time Phil had gained any kind of notoriety. But Adrian...he was just a kid. A kid who happened to be smack dab in the middle of their demographic. Maybe that distance makes a bit more sense.

Either way, he seems cool. Despite his demeanor that he’s above it all, Martyn sees the way he follows their grandmother’s every request. How he adds on to his mum’s stories. How he filled with embarrassment and pride at Dan detailing his accomplishments to dad. 

Mum seems to have noticed it too seeing as how she’s giving him her full attention as he describes a Buddist temple he came across. Maybe she just feels the mother duck compulsion to take everyone under her wing. Maybe she can’t help looking at him and remember another brown curly mop that needed just an extra bit of tenderness. 

Martyn takes the chance to interject with his own travel stories. It’s something they have in common, and Adrian appears genuinely interested. He doesn’t expect a lifelong friendship out of this, but he wants to let him know that the bubble that surrounds this little family isn’t closed off and he’s welcome in at any time. 

*  
**“Mistletoe” - Justin Bieber**

Mum and Kath are getting along really well, sharing pictures of recent holidays. That’s one win. 

Adrian has managed to not be a total dick about the presence of the roast. Win number two. 

Nothing has caught on fire and there is little to no signs of an impending mental breakdown. The biggest win. 

Dan snuck away to the bedroom to release the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding for the first two hours. 

It’s good. This is good. It’s not like he was expecting the apocalypse, but things are better than he could have hoped. It still doesn’t stop the faint twisty feeling in his stomach. 

He’s laying down on the bed with his feet still on the ground when he hears the door creek open and a body flop next to his. Phil holds his hand and takes an equally deep sigh.

“It’s going okay, right?”

Ten years of this, and Dan still gets taken aback by just how intuned they are. 

“Yeah. Mum’s having a good time. Nana, for some reason, thinks your clumsiness is charming.” 

“I like her. She’s cool.”

Dan can hear the smile in his deep voice without even looking over. Phil always gets a strange joy out of befriending old people.

“And you find it cute too, bub.” He plants a wet kiss on Dan’s cheek.

Dan turns his head so that their lips meet, silently asking to let it go somewhere, just for a little bit. He just needs a minute to recharge, and there is no better way to do that than a lazy snog on top of the duvet secluded from the commotion. 

Phil lets him have his way for what is ultimately not nearly enough time.

He stands up, pulling Dan by his arms to do the same. “Come on, we’ve got people to entertain and guests to shmooze!” 

“Ugh.”

*  
**“ Nu Tändas Tusen Juleljus” - Helen Sjöholm**

She misses her own family during times like these. The Lester’s are welcoming and lovely as always and Dan’s family have been nothing short of a delight, but it’s still not quite home.

Mar is coming with her to Sweden next month to visit. That helps. Besides, this is family too. 

The sitting room has never been so packed, but it’s a pleasant kind of crampedness. The kind that means the room is full of love.

Nigel has pulled Kath into his lap on the chair by the fireplace. It still warms her heart to its very core to see how in love they still are after all this time. Dan’s grandparents are reading off cracker jokes as Adrian and Karen groan in unison. 

She looks over next to her and sees her own partner seemingly deep in thought.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Mooken?” She taps his temple, which earns her a smile. 

“It’s just different. Nice, but different.”

She hums in agreement, and he nudges her knee and points towards the vacant piano.

“You should go and liven this party up. Could do with a jolly Christmas song like you’d do on the Isle.” 

He’s always begged her to sing, even when the atmosphere doesn’t call for it. His enthusiasm for the thing that brings her joy is something that makes her fall a little bit more in love each time. 

She does love their tradition of gathering around the old keyboard that Nigel had found in the attic and taking turns with Dan playing some classic tune while the rest sing off key. 

“Alright,” she raises her voice to call attention to Dan cuddled up on the opposite couch. It takes a minute to get him to notice. An impossible feat at times when he and Phil are in their bubble like this. “But I need my pianist to accompany me.” 

He puts up a fight for a minute despite she and Phil practically dragging him up and demanding he play. Then his mum pipes up and quietly, almost nervously, says “please dear, I’d love to hear it.” That gets him on the bench and cracking his fingers.

She settles beside him and rests her head on his shoulder. She’s always loved Dan like a little brother, but the past few years they’ve grown to have their own bond, outside of being the partners of two slightly odd but wonderful men. 

He taps a few keys and gives her a smile.There’s a little blush on his cheek as he looks to his mum and says “what will it be?”

He ends up playing a Swedish song she had taught him last year. It reminds her of home as she sings in her native tongue. It makes her feel warm. She is reminded that home isn’t a place, but a feeling.

*

**“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”- Judy Garland**

They had to steal a few chairs from around the house to make room, but it was worth it as Phil looks at the crowded table. Everyone has a seat. 

Dan would probably think it’s a metaphor for something, but he just thinks it’s nice to be able to see everyone in the same place. 

Dinner is served and drinks flow freely. He’s surprised himself with how well things turned out. Mum didn’t even believe him when he said they hadn’t catered anything. He even scored some sorta almost brother-in-law points when he surprised Adrian with the mini nut roast he’d been hiding.

Every ounce of stress and anxiety and the ridiculous amount of cleaning they did was all worth it for the look on Dan’s face right now. He’s never gotten to see Christmas Day Dan in real life, and this is better than he ever could have hoped. 

He can’t stop staring at him. It feels like he’s twenty two and falling in love all over again. Except this time, he’s looking at a full grown man. A man who is successful and valued in his own right, but still chooses to spend all those lows and triumphs with him. A man who is unabashedly and unashamedly himself now. 

He’s thriving. 

Phil can’t help but think about the path they’ve taken to get here, of the people they’ve become together, always molding each other to be a better version of themselves. 

He’s thinking about the black velvet box hidden in his office drawer. The one they don’t technically need because they know who and what they are to each other regardless of legalities, but decided would be nice when the time was right.

The time feels right.

The snow has finally started to stick, creating a blanket over the city. Mum insisted she and dad help clean up. She said to enjoy the evening and relax, to do what he wants to do. He’s pretending he didn’t see the wink she gave him.

Dan is by the tree looking out the window. The lights make everything feel a bit magical. Phil takes a second to steady his breath before he approaches. The smile Dan gives him only makes his heart beat faster. 

“Hey, you.” He really is beautiful. Always has been.

“Not to brag, but we kind of freakin’ nailed this thing. It was like..perfect.” Dan raises his hand to give him a high five. 

Phil lets out a small laugh, the word _almost_ hanging on the tip of his tongue. He pats the pocket of his trousers once more just to be sure. 

“Come with me out on the balcony for a minute?”

**Author's Note:**

> Reblog [here](https://ahappydnp.tumblr.com/post/189509669716/merry-and-bright-g-48k-summary-dan-and-phil) :)


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